"Perhaps, rather than thinking I must make my morals, truth, and integrity match another's, I can determine what resonates with my own heart. When it does, I have the strength of a pillar."
There is nothing quite like standing in our own light, resonating with our heart. For me, it evokes a deep knowingness and peace. It brings me emotional strength.
The first step toward gaining emotional strength is to take action. We need to add to our performance appraisal a list of our morals, our truths, and our integrities. We need to do this work... it takes action.
It takes self-confidence and courage to list out these things, and after the preceding stages through which we have been, we are more equipped with these qualities.
Once we have listed out our morals, truths, and integrities, we sift through them to determine which resonate with our heart.
We know something resonates because of the deep feeling of peace and groundedness we have when we read that point on our list.
It's difficult, at least it was for me, to separate out others' influences while making my list. For example, during my 20 year marriage, I took on many of my husband's characteristics and truths. They were not who I was. I took them on to keep peace. I changed who I was to get along, and in the process, I lost myself and what I stood for, what I believed in.
I found that once I knew my morals, strengths, and integrities, there would have been no need for arguing. I could quietly have stated them, relying on my emotional strength. By the time I learned to do this, however, I had been out of the marriage and sober for about 8 years.
I also found that by being strong in what I stand for, my self-confidence and self-respect increased tremendously. I feel good about myself, which leads me to feel good about you, which allows me to treat you with great kindness and respect. See how this works when we are feeling good about ourselves? It is of benefit to others, as well as ourselves.
You, too, can gain this level of feeling confidence, respect, and peace. Start by doing an evaluation of your morals, truths, and integrities. List out all that you currently believe, as well as how you would like to believe from here-on-in. Ask your Source for help in incorporating these points into your life. Ask for the courage to live them, to be strong with them in your being. Ask for the fear of standing in who you are to be removed.
If you encounter resistance or ridicule, bullying or criticism from others, perhaps it is time to move away from those relationships, as they are not in your best interest. Try to hang out with people who pull you up, not put your down, those who applaud your emotional strength.
When you are responsible for yourself in this way, you have less need to drown the sorrow of your own betrayal with alcohol or drugs. You will experience a great deal of freedom and self-assurance about who you are. You will know a better feeling than you get with numbing. You will have emotional strength.
Carolyn CJ Jones
- Inspirational Speaker: "from sobriety to serenity..."
- Author and Photographer: "Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing"