On being an introvert...
Being an introvert in an extroverted world has its challenges. Even so, I would not even dream of being any other way.
So what is an introvert?
Introverts gain energy from their internal world and are drained by too much external stimuli. Conversely, extroverts gain energy from social interactions and prefer not to be alone for extended periods of time.
Many cultures value extroversion more than introversion. Even the task of finding pictures of people alone and happy was a challenge. The belief is that if I don't speak my every thought or feeling that something is wrong with me. If I don't constantly interact with the person next to me then I am rude. I believe in privacy, even if it is at least the privacy of my own internal dialogue.
Only one in four people in the US are introverts; so there have been numerous opportunities for misunderstandings and stereotypes to emerge.
I am not shy! Shy people would actually like to spend more time with others in social settings, however, they just don't know how. I actually prefer to be alone or with a limited number of people.
2. Stuck up
I am not stuck up. It's just that sometimes what I'm thinking is way more interesting than what you are saying. And just because your words are louder, doesn't make them more important than my thoughts or feelings.
3. Depressed/Antisocial
I am not depressed or mentally ill. Sure, spending lots of time alone may sound like torture to some, but it sounds like heaven to an introvert. We need time alone just as much as we need air to breathe. I need this time to recharge in order to function properly in an extroverted world.
4. Friendless/Hates people
Believe it or not, I have friends. Yes, more than one. I was never into having clichés or group friends. I prefer to know my friends intimately and independent of one another. I prefer to have deep, meaningful experiences with people I know versus numerous shallow experiences with strangers.
Our culture here in America puts pressure on introverts to become more extroverted. Come say hello to so and so, chit chat about meaningless matters just for the sake of being polite. Why not ask extroverts to respect the preferences of introverts?
Tips for extroverts conversing with an introvert:
· Don't ramble.
· Get to the point.
· Talk about something meaningful.
· Pause and wait for a thoughtful response.
3 things I have always wanted to say to an extrovert:
Stop extroverting all over me!
Shut up! You're sucking the life out of me!
The words coming out of your mouth are draining the energy from my body.
Introverts are fun and fantastic in our own right.
Advantages of being an introvert:
Calm inner strength
Creative, out of the box thinker
Inner focused: driven by own goals, not dependent on others
Maintain long term, deep relationships (quality vs. quantity)
Wise (maybe because we tend to listen more than we talk)
Imagine a world with no introverts...
I imagine it would be extremely loud and full of stimuli.
Everyone would talk, but no one would be listening.
Food for thought.
My 5 favorite world changing introverts:
Bill Gates
MLK Jr.
Carl Jung
Gandhi
Mother Teresa
Julia Dumas Wilks
Love it. More introverts should get out there and tell it like it is. . .oops! Then they would be extroverts too. . .oh, well.
ReplyDeleteSandy
www.eonwriter.com
I related to every word. People think you're strange if you choose to be alone. They just don't 'get it' the way introverts do.
ReplyDeleteIt even goes so far that "introverts" occasionally are perceived as somehow disturbed and on the autistic spectrum. It is a paradox in a world that thrives on thoughts and ideas - typically coming from the ranks of introverts - while what the culture cherishes and adores is the most extreme form of bubbly, shrill, shrieking, blinding "extrovertism". It strikes me that as a result our culture becomes ever shallower, and selling something, the art of make-believe, these days is more important than the real thing.
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