When your heart gets broken the last thing you feel is confident. However daily life has to continue and somehow you have to find the confidence to act as if you are functioning as normal. This is one of those situations where you might have to pretend for a little while but eventually your confidence will come back. In the meantime here are some tools to help you through.
When my heart got broken years ago, I just fell apart. The result was that I had to spend a long time getting back up. I had no techniques to get me through the pain. I don't know if I even felt pain, it was more of a numbness. I certainly didn't manage to function as normal. In fact I hid away for three months! When I finally did resurface I felt lost and confused. I certainly had no confidence.
Now obviously if you are at the beginning stages of suffering from a broken heart, I can't make that go away with a single post. Actually no one can make the pain go away, it is unfortunately something that you will have to work your way through. I could offer you coaching but for now I am going to give you some simple tools to hopefully help you get back on your feet and to calm some of the overwhelming emotions. If you take care of you and your emotions then your confidence will eventually come back.
- Breathe - Yes I know that sounds obvious, we have to
breathe. Consciously focusing on breathing helps to calm the
body and the mind. When we are stressed or emotional the majority of
us have a tendency to hold our breath without noticing. This can
cause panic in the mind and cause further stress and emotions. Breathing
slowly, stomach expanding as you breath in and stomach falling as you
breath out, can have an instant calming effect.
- Find a space for the pain - The breathing exercise above frees
space in your mind and body to create a safe space where you can leave
your pain for a while. Let me explain. When you sit in the stillness
of breathing and focus only on breathing, you gain a sense of having more
space within. After a while this sense of space becomes
more permanent. You can use this sense of space for the following
technique: When you feel the emotional pain arise, stop for a moment
and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that this pain is due to your
broken heart and it will eventually pass. Take another deep breath. Now
breath normally. Find the space within you. Breath in and out, as you
breath in expand your space within and place your emotional pain there for
safe keeping. With practice this is a very effective tool.
- Spend time doing something you enjoy - At this vulnerable stage it is important that
you nurture your wellbeing. This includes doing things you enjoy and
pampering yourself. I could go on and on about how important this is for
your health and confidence levels but instead I am just going to say, be
good to you! It really makes a difference!
- Surround yourself with loving, understanding, supportive friends and family. People who will lift your spirits, enjoy your company, and boost your confidence. Stay away from confidence zapping people.
I will be publishing a new e-book in the next couple of weeks on the subject of confidence during separation. If you would like to be reminded sign up on the home page of my website www.gracefullynatural.com and you will also receive a free 50 page confidence e-book.
How did you find confidence after your heart was broken?