Friday, August 24, 2012


I get it. Everyone loves to hate country music.
But, despite the fact that my disdain for most trash on the radio has gotten me called a “musical elitist” before, I actually love it. Chalk it up to the fact that I drive on windy backroads all the time and have cows hanging out right behind my neighborhood. Fine. I don’t care what you think.
Country music actually has a lot of things going for it — it’s just a matter of what you’re looking to get out of a song. When it comes to this genre, songs are simple, relatable, catchy and rewarding. You can usually know most of a song after listening to it one time through. And if I tune into other stations, the odds of me knowing a song are much slimmer than when I turn to a trusty country station. My friend left the country for nearly five months and said she could still listen to country — and not feel like an alien — when she came back.
I agree with Chuck Klosterman, who wrote in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs that, “The most wretched people in the word are those who tell you they like every kind of music ‘except country.’ People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.”
But then there are times when I flip around country stations and come across songs that really are just. plain. terrible. And I realize that if I wasn’t really into country and came across one of thesesongs, I would hate it too. And my hatred — or maybe even pity? — of the genre would probably be irreversible.
So, for all you country-haters out there, don’t judge the genre by songs like these — five of the worst I’ve ever heard:
5. Dirt Road Anthem, Jason Aldean
Based on all the swerving, I’m going to guess that the ice cold beer sitting is his console wasn’t the first. I guess drinking and driving is legal if you are driving through a field. But, more importantly, why is Jason Aldean rapping?
4. Something Bout a Truck, Kip Moore
This song is the ultimate cliff-hanger. He goes through all these things and never tells us what exactly it is about any of them. Tell me, Kip, please! What’s is it about your truck? I think that Kip didn’t quite know how to explain it to us and decided to just repeat himself over and over again instead — creating this awful song in the process.
3. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Trace Adkins
Ohh wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma?
2. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Taylor Swift
First of all, I don’t think rhyming never and ever counts as songwriting. Second of all, does anyone else remember Taylor Swift’s first single that was actually really good and didn’t sound like it was written by a twelve-year-old? Things have all gone downhill from there. Sure, she’s making bank, but I could be doing exactly what she is if I wasn’t tone deaf and still believed in fairy tales. (I know, we’ll never know if that’s true, but me saying that is no different than all the people that say they’d be really good at basketball if they were taller. So ha.)
1. Truck Yeah, Tim McGraw
This one breaks my heart the most because it’s by one of the most respected names in country music. Come on, Tim. Don’t do this to me. Truck yeah? What the truck were you thinking?
By: Alyssa Oursler

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