Sunday, January 25, 2015

Why I Write Sex Scenes



My passion for romance novels run deep.
I love to read romance stories with sex scenes that are woven nicely within the plot and played out perfectly by the characters. In the same way, I enjoy writing sex scenes that are real and deepen the relationship between the characters. Writing sex scenes lights a fire in me and gives me a satisfying buzz.
In practical terms, the aim is to write sex scenes that help real life couples learn a thing or two on how to please their partners. Over the years, I have benefited immensely from reading romance novels with various heat levels.
However, it is more important to build an irresistible emotional tension and toe-curling romance between the characters and to develop a gripping plot for the sex scenes to give the added oomph!
Out of my eight published romance books, Stolen Valentine Kiss (Holiday Series #1) is the only title that has no explicit sex scene, but it is rich in clean romantic scenes with captivating emotional tension.
WHERE DO I GET MY IDEAS TO WRITE SEX SCENES?
Do you really want me to answer honestly? Lol!
The sex scenes in my romance novels come from various sources. From reading tons of romance novels to getting first-hand experience from the most loving man I have ever known. The one to whom my heart belongs for a lifetime.
More seriously, writing sex scenes is the most challenging aspect for me. To get the scenes smoking hot, I have to get into the characters head, heart and understand their attitude, personality, disposition, sexual tendencies and the specific situation. Once the atmosphere is fully tense, piping the plot with the appropriate heat level comes easy.
There are some sex scenes I have written that were purely instinctive. In other words, there are no hard or fast rules. The characters, plot, setting, heat level and so on, all drive a great romance story.
Thank you for having me, Siggy. It has been a pleasure to share my thoughts on writing sex scenes with you.



 
Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku

Flirty & Feisty Romance 

Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.





18 comments:

  1. Dear Siggy,
    Thanks for posting Stella’s blog. It’s soooooo refreshing to hear a writer say, “Hey! I write great sex in great romances! Here’s what it’s like…” (That’s how I heard it ). My girlfriends and I have all been ravenous romance readers in our days, and of course, some of our great favorites have been the really well written romances with character development, emotion, tension…and incredible sex! These girlfriends are the same women I play “THINGS” with (and I heartily recommend this game for all readers of sexy romance novels, you’ll see why once you play it), and within 5 seconds of answering the games’ questions, our answers morph into wonderfully bawdy yet entirely sophisticated responses of a sexual nature. The kind where we laugh so hard that we cry, and then pee in our pants. Yet, somehow I am the only member of this group of friends who will say, with sincere and loud enthusiasm, “I read this great romance, and OMG the sex was incredible!!!!,” and they shift uncomfortably in their seats. I mean, I can’t be the only one who doesn’t mind talking about it, right? Right?? As a single woman, and there are sooooooooooooo many of us out here at any given moment, I am so grateful for my romance-with-great-sex literature. Sometimes reading a really well put-together romance (with sex, of course), is better than the real thing! Sometimes, it’s the only thing….for a long, long time…..(sigh). One of my all-time favorite authors for this genre, because she does all of the above and is hilarious as well, is Jennifer Crusie.
    Anyhow, thanks so much for sharing Stella’s essay. I really appreciate it!
    ~Derby Girl

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    1. Dear Derby, what an open and refreshing comment. I love and enjoy reading romance novels with great sex in it. Oh yes! And I can admit it any time. I don't see why any woman should pretend otherwise😁 When I was single, I soaked it all in. Now I'm married, the skills 'acquired ' have come in handy😂
      My last release - Kiss My Lips (Holiday Series #2 ) is filled with great sex, if you want to check it out. You will need a cold shower as you read.😃

      Please share your games with us.
      Thank you so much for dropping in.
      Have a romantic week ahead!

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    2. Hi Siggy and Stella, the game is called "The Game of Things," and can be ordered on Amazon or at Target. It's so much fun, I hope you check it out. When you get together with a group of girlfriends who aren't afraid to come up with "wicked" and "outrageous" answers--and then try to out-do themselves with even more crazy answers in the next round, it's 2 or 3 hours of hysterical laughter (not to mention I learn all sorts of interesting sex facts I never knew before from some of my more seasoned friends). It's great fun, I hope you have a chance to check it out.
      Cheers! ~Derby Girl

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    3. Huge thanks, Derby for coming back to share the name of the game with us. Will check it out straight away on Amazon.

      Keep on rocking, Derby. You're so cool.
      Enjoy your day.

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  2. Nice to hear from you and thanks for your frank comment.Maybe our readers would like to know more about these"games"?
    Curious,Siggy
    You can always PM me.

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  3. I can't thank you enough for having me on your blog, dear Siggy. Thank you so much.

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  4. Perfect. Stella is happy woman and and want's every woman to be happy.

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    1. Thank you my Sweetheart. You inspire me to write sex scenes and make me so happy. God bless you for me and our marriage xxx

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  5. Always refreshing to sex connected with a deep, fulfilling relationship, instead of just for its own sake. It amuses me to read book reviews and take part in book parties and hear readers talk about how "hot" the sex and/or the hero is, and very little about anything else in the book that isn't sex-related. Don't get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next female, but is that truly why we read? If that's the case, shouldn't we be HAVING MORE SEX instead of reading about it? LOL! Okay, I'll stop, but what I simply mean is great sex scenes enhance a good book, they cannot be the book...unless of course, the book is about just sex...then never mind. LOL! Many thanks to you, Stella, for giving us the total package. "Stolen Valentine Kisses" is one of the books I'm currently reading, and I love the slow build of Lorna and Logan's relationship, because it does take time if it is to last. And Aunt Nneka is a trip! LOL!

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    1. I'm laughing out loud, my dear friend, Felicia. We are surely reading from the same page. I agree that sex enhance the story and it isn't the story itself.

      I'm very thrilled to hear you are enjoying the build up of the relationship between Lorna and Logan in Stolen Valentine Kiss (Holiday Series #1). And I'm even more pleased you get it. As for Aunt Nneka, she is a true character. Thank you for visiting, for leaving comments and especially for sharing your thoughts on Stolen Valentine Kiss.

      Have a blessed week.

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  6. Great article. I had the pleasure of reading, "Kiss My Lips," which was a great romance story showing sensual sex scenes between two people who actually loved and respected each other. Stella, continued success in your writings.

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    1. Wohoo! Dear Vivienne, it is so nice to have you stop by to share your views. When I read your glowing 5-star review of Kiss My Lips (Holiday Series #2), my heart melted. I'm so satisfied you loved the build up in their relationship. Lorna and Logan's story still sizzles within me and I plan on writing book #3 this year.

      Getting feedback from you and Felicia is awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  7. Great post, Stella. It is always important to have a fulfilling romantic story first. The sex scenes are just a bonus.

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    1. Oh yes, Kiru, it is thoroughly satisfying to write and read fulfilling romance stories. Indeed, the sex adds spice to the plot. Thank you for visiting and for leaving comments. I appreciate it.

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  8. Great post, Stella. I love reading romance novels with sex scenes as well. Like you said: "Writing sex scenes lights a fire in me and gives me a satisfying buzz."
    Although I have discovered on a few occasions that I had to skip ahead on some sex scenes that were too long and (IMO) were wasting my time when I wanted to get on with the rest of the story already. The story itself is my priority and the sex is the cherry on top.

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  9. Thank you Empi. So lovely to hear from you. I have skipped sex scenes in erotic novels when sex drives the story instead of the opposite.

    Many thanks for stopping by and leaving comments.

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  10. Enjoyed this post, Stella and Siggy! I totally agree with your ideas. The sex scenes should help deepen the relationship and there are no hard and fast rules. Just like us, each character is different. I know I've written a good sex scene when I can hardly keep still reading it ;-)

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    1. Dear Dariel, great to have you pop over and leave comments. Thank you so much.

      Oh yes, every character is unique. Just like you, some sex scenes I have written make me dash to the shower after reading. Lol! Have a splendid weekend.

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