Valentine’s Day: You either Love it or you Hate it

Valentine’s Day, synonymous with love and romance, is once again bombarding us with all things red and pink remotely associated with amore and desire. Sandwiched between Christmas and St. Patrick’s Day, it has become one of the most commercialized days of the year. A frenzy that takes hold of the country every year leading up to the 14^th of February:  from cards to flowers, teddy bears to underwear, chocolates to jewelry, and not to mention red balloons labeled, “For the one I love this Valentine’s.”

You are probably loving it if you are in a relationship. For many singles, however, who don't have the prospect of being showered with cards or affection, V-Day can be a red flag and feel like a very lonely day.  

If you are single, the world suddenly seems to exist only of happy couples. So how to find your soul mate? That’s the $64,000 question. Lucky the ones who found their mate in school! At a later stage in life and if you’re divorced or widowed, it becomes more difficult. You may have tipped your toes in the dating pool and experienced that dating rules have changed over time.

Why is it so difficult these days to meet somebody in spite of all the possibilities that social networking and the Internet provide: dating sites, chat-rooms, and singles events? Even churches organize singles nights now. Jacksonville and beaches have so much to offer!  Still you can be out on dates every other night, yet not find that elusive partner.

As a former matchmaker in Ireland my advice to singles is to stay open to what life has to offer you, to explore new avenues and hobbies; to be proactive and go out and mingle. You may have to leave your comfort zone a little. Even if you don’t meet the person you are looking for straight away, you won’t meet anyone when you stay at home. Although it may be hard to find the time and energy- especially when you work and have children to look after- to get out of the house and away from your TV. Fate doesn’t come knocking on your door and serve Mr. Right/Ms. Right on a silver platter – nor does the pizza delivery man. So plan to spend some time every week out of the house socializing and structure whatever free time you have accordingly.

Ask yourself:  Are you ready for a new relationship?  Are you carrying around baggage from your last relationship? Another piece of advice is to have a good look at yourself as seen through the eyes and mirror of a prospective partner: Are there areas in your life or about yourself that could be improved on? Do you know how you come across to other people? In short: Would you date yourself? Make some modest changes if necessary.This may be an unexpected approach but be of help in your search.  

For more tips on dating check out my book Next Time Lucky: How to Find Your Mr. Right which is a story based on my own experiences both as a dating expert and pioneer online dater. Available in paperback and as an eBook on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

   

(Pictures courtesy of Besider.org- a brilliant website you need to check out!)

The Spirit of Love 

Some men send roses
 long-stemmed and red.

Some send chocolates

that melt in your mouth.

Some send cards,

heart-shaped and fancy.

But O, my Valentine,

my soul’s sweet delight.

You bend Cupid’s bow,

shoot arrows

of luminous light.

Riding the wind

you enter my window,

whisper your name to my ear,

warm my body,

quicken my pulse

And capture my heart!

               

                                          

JoAnna O’Keefe

http://www.joannaokeefe.com
joanna@joannaokeefe.com
National League of American Pen Women  - Cape Canaveral Branch
 

Lock it in!

Valentine’s Day, synonymous with love and romance, is once again bombarding us with all things red and pink remotely associated with amore and desire. Sandwiched between Christmas and St. Patrick’s Day, it is one of the most commercialized days of the year. A frenzy that takes hold of the country every year leading up to the 14^th of February:  from cards to flowers, teddy bears to underwear, chocolates to jewelry, and not to mention red balloons labeled, “For the one I love this Valentine’s.” And now “Love locks” or Valentine padlocks started cropping up in the most romantic cities of Europe like in Paris or Rome. This is how it works: Lovers have their names engraved in a padlock, lock it to some bridge, monument or fence and throw away the key. Ah…tied together forever. Ain’t that sweet?
So far I haven't heard objections to this new trend from environmentalists. Surely tons of discarded metal keys thrown into rivers present some damage to the environment? How about the clean up? Are these love toys here to stay?

Inventive marketers sell this novelty gimmick as ‘a unique twist on a centuries old tradition that symbolizes the locking of your life and love’. A variation on tying the knot? Well, a ring never was a guarantee for eternal love and romance anyways. Divorce statistics are proof for that. An old fashioned locket with a locke of hair or picture  of the beloved ─ now that’s what I would call a romantic token of oneness.

"Does anybody waste a thought about those among us that don’t have a beloved? A love of their life? Not even a temporary one?  What about those who never even had a love of any kind? Or about those who have lost one?

When I grew up in Germany, I never even knew that this heavenly day existed. I can’t say when it reached the German shores; probably in those years when I was already married and had moved to Ireland. I received my first Valentine’s card at 35 from an elderly gentleman who picked up his grandchildren from the same school that my kids frequented. It read “To the one I am dreaming about.”

Mortified, yet tickled pink, I took it home to my husband who was working on the farmyard.  He was aghast.  I think that’s when he first learned about the existence of Valentine’s Day.

“If you ask me, it’s all one big commercial hype over nothing,” he called down from his tractor, scratching his head.  And ever the lyrical poet, he added, “Just another day for selling things, what with Christmas being over and Easter far away.  Just like the fad of Mother’s Day.”

With that clarified, he put his woolly cap back on and returned to his task at hand,  cleaning up the manure on the yard.  Needless to say, I never got a Valentine’s card from him after that." (Excerpt from: Next Time Lucky").

I hate to admit that now many years, many admirers and many Valentine cards later, I agree with my now ‘Ex’. The last straw proving the commercialism of V-Day are the ravioli on sale at this time of the year. Yes, you guessed it. Heart-shaped and red.               d.
The frenzy of Valentine’s Day may be a necessary boost to the economy but also a time in a single’s life that many would happily skip over unmarked.
Be warned - these padlocks may be coming to a bridge near you...
Siggy Buckley
www.SiggyBuckley.blogspot.com